College Dating #2; Ladies Be Reasonable

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This is one subject that can get a bit touchy but it is something that I could not avoid talking about.

Don’t get me wrong, in a relationship I believe it is proper for the man to take out his girlfriend for a nice dinner or buy her something nice. However, it should not be something that is expected to be done numerous times. Why? Both individuals are in college and the last time I checked it isn’t the most inexpensive place to be in today’s world.

With rising tuition each semester, student loans, buying books, housing fees, buying gas (if the student has a car) and all the other things that take money out of a student’s wallet it is hard to keep a woman happy while in college. If women would be a bit more understanding then a lot of relationships would go a lot smoother.

I know times are tough after a long week of classes involving quizzes, exams, projects and of course the stress that comes along with that. Not to mention if one or both of the people in a relationship have jobs on top of that it just adds on to the daily demands already put into place from being a college student. Sometimes you just want to get away from it all with your man especially if the two of you haven’t been spending a lot of quality time together due to demanding schedules.

College relationships seem to be a “test” as to how two individuals would handle marriage when you really think about it. I’ve never been married but just from observation and talking with people I know who are in relationships some of the same factors are evident.

Here are a few of the similarities:

  • Bringing the stress from work or school into the relationship by taking those aggressive feelings out on each other often resulting in arguments due to misplaced anger
  • The relationship can sometimes get a bit stale with the same old routine over and over again. Don’t be afraid to spice up the relationship with something new. Instead of a movie go out dancing or just do something that you’ve never done before
  • Money can be an issue but only if you let it. Despite not being married, keeping a budget (and this goes for the men) is important because the school cafeteria and coupon dinners won’t keep a woman satisfied if this happens EVERY date night
  • The guy or girl may feel neglected if work and school seems to come in between them with dates having to be rescheduled due to demanding work schedules or exams/projects to work on

I know the last one listed above is true for guys who have girlfriends in the nursing program or ladies with a boyfriend studying law, those majors have a demanding schedule and it is not uncommon for person to feel a bit neglected. However, making time for one another is a topic I’ll cover in Part 3 of my “College Dating” blogs.

Ladies, sometimes it is best to keep things simple when it comes to date night with your man. As I mentioned above, there are many things that can cause stress and exhaustion while in college. Some nights it would do some good just to spend time with your man. Go out to a place off campus to get away from all of the distractions, look at the stars and just talk. Remember that old saying “Simplicity is best” and when it comes to love that really does apply. Those moments when the two of you can get away from everything so you can be together means more than anything he can buy you (ladies could argue that a wedding ring would mean more but that’s just based on opinion).

Overall, just remember that you are not the only one with a demanding schedule in college. If your boyfriend truly cares about you he will bend over backwards trying to make you happy. Also consider his feelings too, maybe he had rough day at work or a tiresome week of classes and he needs some attention. Just like text messages, phone calls or social media messages/conversations; it works BOTH ways. He doesn’t always have to be the first one to contact you. As a man, I can say that those little “I love you” or “Good morning” messages mean just as much to us as it does for females because it shows that you care. With that in mind, ladies PLEASE try to be a bit more reasonable when it comes to the dating expectations of your man especially while you are still in college.

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God Knows Who Is Right for You

“Wow…just wow…” that has been the only thing on my mind since I came to understand something that I should have figured out a LONG time ago. I don’t know about you but I’m one of those people who over thinks just about anything and everything.

At night when I get in bed to go to sleep, my mind suddenly begins to race thinking about numerous things; conversations I had during the day, past experiences and whatever else decides to pop into my head while I’m trying to sleep.

I don’t know why but suddenly the thought of relationships came to mind. It had to do with the whole “Why am I still single, while just about everyone I know is in a relationship?!?”

It came to me out of nowhere that the right one will come when God tells me. For some reason the story in Genesis 24-26 just jumped to the front of my thoughts. Abraham was getting old and he knew he didn’t have much longer before he would pass on. He wanted his son to marry so that God’s promise would be fulfilled to continue his bloodline to become the father of many nations.

He sent his eldest servant back to his home country to find a wife among his kin since the women in Canaan did not seem right for Isaac.

While waiting at the fountain the servant had no idea of how to pick out a woman since there were so many coming to fetch water. He prayed and God showed him which one. That woman was Rebekah. She gave water to him and offered to water his camels.

Then after I remembered the story, it just hit me that in my lifetime I’ve encountered many women. Most have either become good friends and others were just people that crossed my path but we kept going our own separate directions.

As I got older, I began to ponder whether or not I have already encountered the woman that I was meant to marry.

People have been telling me to be patient and wait on God because He will let me know when the time is right and who the woman He made just for me is. Never have I realized how true that statement was until tonight.

I’m not saying that I’ll be at a fountain waiting for her, it could be at a bus stop, in a grocery store or wherever but one thing is for sure it will be when God sees fit for me to know.

With that little nugget of wisdom God placed on my heart tonight, I feel like I have a weight lifted off my shoulders from occasionally worrying and complaining about being single. Patience and faith are key factors. I mean that servant had no idea who the right woman was or how long he would be waiting at the fountain.

He could have been sitting for awhile before one woman came along, gotten frustrated and just picked the first woman that came. However, he had PATIENCE and FAITH that God would show him the right woman at the right time.

The same holds true for women waiting on the right man to come along. So, to all of the single people reading this message just know that the right person will be coming your way sooner or later. While you are waiting remain patience and keep faith in God because He knows what He is doing!