Why Doesn’t Team Flash Kill The Thinker? | CW’s The Flash

By Jeremy Carden

This post is related to one of the most emotional episodes of Season 4. “Lose Yourself” certainly was an episode that had me feeling all types of emotions. Sadly, I was more annoyed than depressed over Ralph’s death at the hands of Devoe.

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Alright, I know that different superheroes have their own rules about killing villains.

However, there has to be a point where the consideration of crossing that line needs to be addressed for the sake of the greater good.

No joke, I did enjoy that particular episode of The Flash. I believe it was one of this season’s better episodes. It was cool to see Joe and Iris get victories in their fights. I didn’t even mind Iris too much in that episode.

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Heck, I think this is the sort of Iris we should have been seeing all season!

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But my main gripe about the episode (as with most episodes this season) is Barry Allen.

A majority of episodes this season have felt sort of rinse-and-repeat in terms of them finding a bus-meta, saying they’ll do whatever it takes to prevent Thinker from stealing their bodies, they fail and then mope at the end of the episode due to their failure.

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Yes, Ralph can be, has been and was an overall tool (just to use the nicest word that I could think of to describe him). However, he was a lovable tool when the script didn’t have him being overly annoying, selfish or afraid.

Seriously, there was a lack of consistency with his character this season. I feel like there were at least three or four episodes about Ralph overcoming fear or his own selfishness for the sake of becoming a hero.

He made a valid point about taking out Devoe FOR GOOD and by ANY means necessary.

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True, it could be chalked up to him being afraid for his life (because he has every right to be), but I hate how Barry shot him down every chance he got in the episode because Ralph wasn’t following the guidelines of “Mr. and Mrs. Star Labs.”

Funny how Barry is more than willing to beat down his “friends” and “teammates” to keep them in line, but doesn’t show that same kind of gusto when it comes to defeating his enemy.

Now, I’m not saying that anyone who litters or ignores a stop sign deserves to be skewered by Killer Frost, breached to a deserted planet by Vibe or get the “Reverse Flash treatment” through the heart…

However, at what point is enough enough?

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How many metas (and just regular people for that matter) have to die IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES before you decide that it is time to “cross that line” to prevent the enemy from hurting people?

At the end of the season, if the entire planet is on the line because of Devoe’s “enlightenment device” then I don’t want to hear Barry and the others crying about the fate of the world or how they’re not going to fail because they LET things get to level of danger. All of it boils down to them not doing what needed to be done while they still had the chance.

 

That is why I didn’t care about Barry and the others being sad because the blood of ALL of the pipeline metas and Ralph are on their hands as much as Devoe’s.

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Going back to what I mentioned above about Iris, I still feel like she was not that annoying in “Losing Yourself.” However, there was one piece of dialogue between her and Ralph that didn’t sit too well with me.

 

I love how Iris talked to Ralph about not killing the person that wants to kill him. She started off on common ground because she DOES know what kind of situation Ralph is in right now.

For the second half of Season 3, the main focus of Team Flash was to prevent Savitar from killing Iris. She had to deal with the fact that she was possibly living on a ticking clock because everything Team Flash tried ended up failing (until HR sacrificed himself).

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Here in Season 4, the focus of Team Flash is to prevent Thinker from killing the bus-metas (including Ralph). However, history repeats itself because Thinker is 20+ steps ahead of everything the team can think of. Similar to Savitar, who was a Barry that had lived through everything present Barry had meaning that he would be aware of any tactic that Team Flash thought of if Barry was there to know about it. 

So, I agree that Iris can relate to where Ralph was at that point in the season.

However, her saying that killing isn’t the tough call but the wrong one

Eh, hard for her to be the person to say that since she was the one who pulled the trigger leading to Savitar’s death.

How’s that for the pot calling the kettle black?

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Also, wasn’t Iris firing at The Mechanic with lethal shots during their showdown in S.T.A.R Labs? If it wasn’t for her blocking the shots with her blade, then I doubt she would have survived!

I believe Barry mentioned that he knew what Ralph was going through as well. In the sense of wanting to kill his enemy, I could see that being true. He fought the urge to kill Zoom and Reverse Flash at different points in the series.

However, I don’t think he can relate with Ralph when it comes to someone wanting to take his life.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think ANY of the major villains on The Flash have wanted Barry dead. For the most part, they all wanted or needed him alive for their own master plans:

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  • Reverse Flash needed Barry’s speed in order to get back to his own time.
  • Zoom needed Barry’s speed in order to save his life, and then his speed in order to fuel the device he wanted to use to destroy every multiverse aside from Earth-1.
  • Savitar needed Barry alive to ensure his own existence. It was the death of Iris that mattered to him.
  • Devoe needed Barry released from the Speed Force to create the bus-metas. Then needed him out of the way to not interfere in his plans, and in the episode “Therefor She Is” we learned that he has an even bigger need for Barry in the near future. However, he will kill The Flash once that plan is finished; most likely referring to the Enlightenment.

So, I don’t think Barry can say that he knows what it is like to be on the run (no pun intended) for his life as Ralph was this season.

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It just made me cringe throughout the episode when Barry kept preaching about how they don’t cross that line when it has been crossed SEVERAL times in previous seasons by members of Team Flash.

  • Joe killed Weather Wizard’s brother at the end of the very first episode of The Flash, and then “Flashpoint Joe” killed The Rival. In both scenarios, Barry had defeated them by stopping their cyclones that would have brought major destruction to Central City. Then after assuming the battle was over, the bad guys tried to strike when Barry was vulnerable. Joe shot them in the back to protect Barry and that was that!
  • Iris did the same thing when she shot Savitar in the back (killing him) because Barry had his back turned after defeating him. That could be called poetic justice since Savitar stabbed her in the back resulting in her death in the future that Barry saw earlier that season. However, death is still death!
  • Barry killed two of the Earth-2 doppelgangers during the opening episodes of Season 2! I believe he trapped Atom Smasher in a container where the radiation killed him, and then he killed the “Sandman” after learning how to use his lightning bolt technique from “Jay Garrick.”

Guys, I’m just naming a few deaths that Team Flash caused off the top of my head. Sad to say, but I think there may have been a few that I missed.

Let’s be honest, if Devoe was about to kill Barry and Iris had to make the call; she would have killed him. Just as she did with Savitar when he was about to strike Barry when his back was turned.

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Heck, I could see Iris looking at Mechanic dead in the face before killing Devoe saying; “You asked me how far was I willing to go to save my husband…” *pulls trigger* “….that’s how far….” all because she loves her man along with demonstrating the strength of their love.

No questions asked if that murder took place, but if one of the other team members wants to kill then it’s a problem????? Heck, remember when Iris stopped Killer Frost from killing Amunet Black after she crashed her bachelorette party?

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Season 3 Caitlin/Killer Frost was right when she told Barry, “But why would you care? You got Iris. You got your happy ending. Everyone else be damned.

All of Team Flash can fall by the wayside, but as long as Mr. and Mrs. Star Labs are alive and well…everyone else be damned.

Thoughts?

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Tyler Perry’s The Haves and the Have Nots Theory: Maggie Is the Killer!

By Jeremy Carden

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The season finale is coming soon! Tuesday will be here before you know it, and fans have been pulling out their hair because of their anticipation!

Who will die? Who will live? What lies will be brought to the surface? Whose chicken will come home to roost?

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Now the title of this blog might have you thinking that I have Maggie Day pegged as the killer during the season finale. I suppose you could say that, or you should realize that she has already “killed” someone!

Who am I referring to?

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It all occurred during last week’s episode, and her encounter with the Ice Queen herself!

The clip above was my FAVORITE part of last week’s episode!

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Maggie revealed to Veronica that she knows about her affair with 23-year-old Benny Young, but has not blown the whistle on her to David.

When Veronica asks why Maggie has not snitched to David, she tells her that it has to do with timing. From there, Maggie reveals her plan to have David run for governor.

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Veronica scoffs at the idea because she thinks that Maggie has her own hidden agenda. Maggie brought up the fact that Veronica would not shy away from being the First Lady, but Veronica is quick to call her potential bluff.

I mean when you look at things from Veronica’s perspective (I can’t believe that I just said that), you would also be suspicious of Maggie’s intentions. Sure, Maggie was 100% honest with Veronica about how she feels about David. I will give her the credit she deserves, but she was still chasing after a man who is married!

The fact that Maggie said that she did not reveal Veronica’s affair to David because of timing has me thinking that she has a hidden agenda. She could be trying to get David in the governor’s mansion, and wait for Veronica to blow the marriage (which she has already done) before making her move.

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Like it or not, Maggie is potentially the most dangerous and cunning character on the show in her own way. It has never been revealed if her persuading Veronica to bail out Quincy from prison was a “double agenda.” We know that her intention was getting Q out in order to get Candace under control to stop her from ruining Jim’s campaign. However, she might have anticipated a man that has been in prison for 3 years would be instantly attracted to the first woman that he laid eyes on after all of that time; Veronica was most likely the first woman her has seen in 3 years!

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That could be why he was so persistent with having sex with her on multiple occasions! I don’t know…Maggie might have planned that out. Aside from having Q being a dog off the lease, she could also use that as ammo against Veronica if she blows the whistle to David about it!

So at this point, Maggie knows about Veronica’s affair with Benny AND has the proof of Veronica bailing Q out of jail! Veronica told David that she did that at the Sarandon Hotel, and caused an even bigger rift in their marriage.

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Veronica is basically doing Maggie’s dirty work for her, and she is running her own marriage as a result. This is EXACTLY what Maggie has been trying to do all along!

David told Veronica that the breaking point of their marriage would be if she has been screwing around behind his back, and that was right before she handed him the divorce papers.

Maggie has the final bullet needed to kill the Ice Queen, but has yet to pull the trigger…

You are probably wondering who she “killed” last week, and I will tell you the person that she killed.

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Did you notice the two masks that were hanging on the wall near the front door of Veronica’s new house?

As she was leaving, Maggie said that she loved the décor of Veronica’s new house. What made this scene even more perfect that it already was involved Maggie bringing up something that was mentioned during her first meeting with Veronica.

Do you recall the first encounter of Maggie, Veronica and Katheryn? It was during the early episodes of Season 2 after she agreed to be Jim and David’s campaign manager. Maggie had a brief meeting with their wives to introduce them to her strategy for the campaign.

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Never one to beat around the bush, Maggie noted that Veronica’s wardrobe and fashion sense was too flashy. After she left, it was clear that she did not make friends with Veronica and Katheryn.

When she was leaving Veronica’s house, she mentioned that the décor was nice without being too flashy. Veronica then threw the folder containing the photos of her and Benny at Maggie. It did not hit her intended target, but it knocked down one of the masks on the wall.

After Maggie closed the door, Veronica fell to the floor in tears and frustration. If you ask me, the mask hitting the ground was almost a form of symbolism.

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The two masks could represent different things about Veronica’s personality:

  • One mask represented the facade Veronica had regarding her marriage
  • One mask represented the facade of Jeffrey NOT being gay

Maggie’s speech to Veronica about how David loved her and did not have an affair “killed” one of Veronica’s personalities.

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The persona or “mask” that wanted revenge against David for cheating on her!

Yes, Maggie Day “murdered” someone in last week’s episode!

Now the mask falling on the floor (with Veronica doing the same) reminds me of the expression about picking your face up off of the ground.

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In the finale, it appears that Veronica is going to try correct two of her mistakes:

  • She tries to cut ties with Benny by ending their affair, but it does not look like he wants that to happen
  • She goes to David’s office and tells him to take the opportunity by running for governor

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She is even seen on stage beside David as Jim is about to give his speech about dropping out of the race for office, but it is unknown whether or not he will bow out or continue to run.

What has me curious is if Jim does decide to quit the race, will David walk to the podium and reveal that HE is running?

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He did not want to run without consulting his “friend” Jim, but for him to be pushed in that direction by his wife…this finale is going to be interesting to say the least.

It is still unknown if the impact of Veronica learning the truth about her husband’s affair will cause her to think twice about how she has treated Jeffrey (the second mask on the wall), but I could see her potentially being killed in the finale.

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Aside from the hit that Jim put out on her (as well as Cannon and Terrell), it would not surprise me if the Ice Queen gets killed just as she is trying to make things right in her life. After all of the harm she has caused, Veronica has a lot to answer for.

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I know my whole theory on the masks being symbolism for Veronica’s personality might be a result of me reading too much into this, but I’m a HAHN addict (this is what I do)! If the masks were actually written into scene for symbolism, I give applause to whoever put that in there!

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Also, I am a sucker for continuity, and Maggie Day delivered by referencing what she first told Veronica about her flashy personality! If I am not mistaken, I read somewhere that Maggie was not even supposed to be in the series for this long. However, that changed and she has become a major player at the HAHN table if you ask me.

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Somehow, the Grinch’s heart also grew three sizes that day, but is it enough for Veronica to make peace with her family?

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Will David and Jeffrey forgive her? Will Veronica call off the wedding that she posted about in the newspaper? Is Maggie trying to take the position as First Lady for herself? Will Veronica die in the finale?

Like what you read? Then be sure to follow me on Twitter (@jccarden) because on Tuesday nights at 9 PM I’m on there tweeting during each new episode of the #HAHN! I also have aFacebook page dedicated to my blog posts and HAHN memes as well! Also follow my blog so you can enjoy my new articles when they are posted. 

Interracial Dating Central

by Jeremy Carden

I believe that Interracial Dating Central is a great website because it sees beyond the color of a person’s skin. Just by reading a few of the many success stories from happy users of this site makes me want to recommend it to everyone that I know. Love should be colorblind because when you fall in love with someone you get feelings after getting to know them. Skin color is one thing but character is another. The skin that we wear on the outside is just something that holds everything on the inside, but once you get to the heart of a person that is when you truly get to know them not their color. The world is a melting pot of nationalities and of course skin colors. However, that says nothing about the uniqueness of individual people aside from the general assumptions that you can make about a person based on where they came from.

Browsing through the website, I saw that you can choose the type of person you are looking to form a relationship with. If you are fond of Asian women then they have women of that nationality for you. That is just one of the many types of people on this website. I would recommend searching through the entire site before making a decision. Just because you prefer Spanish women doesn’t mean you should ignore Black women on the website. Personal preference is one thing, but sometimes the type of person you least expect turns out to be the one that you need in your life.

The website it easy to maneuver around and that makes it less frustrating that many other online dating sites. The categories of people are neatly organized and with one click you are taken to wherever you want to go on the website. There is safety measures put into place that makes a person feel secure when they log onto the site. Personal information is not shared with anyone unless you decide you would like it to be. Customizing your profile page is of course up to you, and the more you customize your page with information, the better your chances of finding the kind of person to compliment your personality. If anything, the online chat feature is a great way to get to know someone. Face to face interaction is much more personal, but online chat is a start.

The fact that the website is free for sign up is a great way of attracting new people. Many online dating websites out there today will charge you an arm and a leg to try and find the love of your life. I recommend trying it out just to get a grasp of what it has to offer. Something tells me that you will not regret it and you will be sharing the website with all of your friends.  Interracial Dating is a common practice in today’s world so why not start by clicking on the link to this website?

www.interracialdatingcentral.com

 

 

 

The Struggle Is Real…Or Is It?

By Jeremy Carden

I’m certain that everyone reading this has either heard or said the phrase “The struggle is real.” Similar to Y.O.L.O. (You only live once), it has become a popular catchphrase of our generation. Typically, it is used to describe some type of hardship being experienced by an individual. However, just like those songs you hear on the radio 24/7…it gets old very fast.

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Now I’m not writing this blog to point fingers at people who say this phrase (because I say it on a daily basis) or to express my annoyance of it. The point of all of this is to ask the question; what does it REALLY mean to say “the struggle is real?”

Whenever it rolls off of your tongue the purpose behind saying it is to express that you recognize a difficult situation that either you or another person is going through. Recently, I’ve been going through some hardships of my own and I’ve found myself saying “the struggle is real” even more often than before.

A few nights ago I sat down and thought about my “struggles.” It wasn’t until I hashed out everything that I realized most of these struggles were self-created.

Take a moment and ask yourself; Am I the reason for most of my struggles?

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While I was mentally listing out my troubles, the phrase “You are your own worst enemy…” kept going through my mind. That makes a lot of sense because I’m one of those people who can be classified as an “over thinker” or a “worrywart.” I’m sure that some of you reading this can relate to me when I say that when you worry about something you can play 20+ worst case scenarios in your head about a situation in 30 seconds. Now if that does not cause a struggle for you mentality then I don’t know what does.

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For those of you who say that the struggle is real when it comes to losing weight, how many of you get off of the couch to take a walk or replace that soda in your hand with a bottle of water?

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To anyone having a difficult time trying to move on from a past relationship, are you still talking to your ex or find yourself looking at their pages on social media sites to keep track of what they are doing?

Our inner demons have a way of bringing out temptation and painful memories to bring us down. The struggle is real after you’ve gotten your heartbroken whem a relationship ends or you step on the scale and the number you see makes you want to breakdown and cry. Just the impossibility of getting into shape or putting the pieces of your heart back together truly makes the hardship of the situation escalate. Of course, these are just a couple of the many struggles people face in their lifetimes.

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Money is one of the primary struggles people use the phrase in reference to. Wanting to buy Frosted Flakes but you have to buy the generic brand instead due to a budget is “a struggle.”

Sometimes in order to overcome these struggles you have to do something about it!

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Want to lose weight? Stop scrolling through Facebook on your computer or sitting in front of your TV screen playing a video game for 5 hours straight! If you can do that then you can certainly manage to exercise for an hour or so a day.

Moving on from a relationship proving to be difficult? Stop pinning over the person who broke your heart! The more you dwell on it…the more painful it becomes. You cannot make room for the right person to come into your life if you are stilling holding onto feelings for the wrong person.

No struggle that we go through in life is impossible to overcome. Despite the difficulty one must face in order to conquer a struggle, it will all pay off in the long run.

If there was one thing that I’d want someone reading this blog to take away it is that “The struggle is real, but so is the reward on the other side.” We have to go through those times of hardship for 2 key reasons:

  1. Going through difficult times (struggles) help us to appreciate the good things in our lives once that period of hardship is over. You don’t truly appreciate something handed to you on the same level you do for something that you’ve earned through hard work and struggle.
  2. Despite the struggle(s) that you are going through at the moment there is something good waiting once it is over.

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Something else that I’ve heard many times is “Once you’ve hit rock bottom there is no reason to give up because that means the only direction that you can go is up!”

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Of course, some realists or Debby Downer would say something sarcastic or technical about how you can go even lower and melt at the center of the earth. All joking aside there is a lot of truth behind that statement. There are some moments in life where everything has to be torn down in order to be built back up again. What’s even better is that sometimes when your life is rebuilt it is even better than it was before. The downside is going through the pain of the struggles that come with that.

So the next time you say that “the struggle is real” just stop and think about whether or not you are the cause of it. The struggles we face are only as real as we make them. Are you spending more time complaining about your struggle or are you spending time doing something in order to overcome it?

 

 

 

 

A Message To Single People: God Is Love

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by Jeremy Carden

This story happened early in November around the time that I was going through some girl problems. It seemed that no matter what I did or didn’t do I was being turned down left and right.

Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t going up to every girl I saw and asking “Would you go out with me?” because that wasn’t the situation at all. For some reason I was being put in the friend-zone.

I was going through a period where I was no longer content with being single. Every day I would ask God why I still haven’t found the woman of my dreams.

One night I was really depressed and was just lying in bed for about an hour. I was praying to God for some kind of direction because I really had no idea what I wanted to do next semester. I didn’t have a real reason to come back to campus (well I will admit that I was just looking at how I didn’t have a girl to come back to next semester), what to do after I finish graduate school in May and how to keep from getting turned down like this even by girls who I do not even have a romantic interest in.

And the questions went on until I asked for some sort of sign from God before finally falling asleep.

So to get my mind off of my troubles, the next day I just stayed in my room and did all kinds of busy work that I’ve been putting off; some cleaning, non-school related writing and other things like that.

Around 6 PM, I decided to make a quick trip to Ollie’s just to get out of my room and get some air. I made it to the bus stop and missed the bus by a few seconds meaning I’d have to wait 20 minutes for the next one. Instead of going back to the dorm and coming back, I just decided to sit on the wall next to the bus stop and listen to some music.

Not too long after I put my headphones in, another bus pulls up and a guy getting off the bus just comes up to me and says Hello. I said hey back thinking to myself whether or not I’ve seen this guy before and it turns out that I hadn’t. He asked where I was headed and I said Ollie’s but I had missed my bus. To my surprise he offered me a ride.

Well Mama always said not to take ride from strangers and after saying that I’d wait for the bus he kept insisting that it was no trouble at all. So, we start walking to his car and he asks “If I knew Jesus?” right away my first instinct is “Oh geez, this is just some evangelism student probably doing his Witnessing Project…”

Turns out he wasn’t, I didn’t ask him but I could just tell. Before I could answer his question he said you know what I think that you do know Jesus. I asked him how he knew that and he said that he could just tell. I told him that I was told long ago that the way you carry yourself can show other people the God in you and he agreed so we just talked about how and when we got saved, what we were majoring in at Liberty University and just simple small talk.

About 5 minutes later, he stopped the car in front of Ollie’s. Right as I was getting out of the car after thanking him for the ride, he told me “God loves you.” After taking a moment to reflect on that I thanked him again and he drove off.

Those 3 little words…God loves you

With a few letdowns in terms of women, a night full of doubt stressing about what to do next and questioning where God was when I was going through all of this just disappeared in that one moment! The thing that hit me was the night before I was asking God for a sign and He delivered it so quickly!

This might seem a bit cliché since I’m sure everyone has heard this many times; the most important relationship that you can have is a relationship with God. From that experience, I can honestly say that I could not agree more with that statement. Since that moment I’ve been trying to look at life a little differently. Doing my best to look at the positives instead of the negatives has made things a bit easier for me. There are still a lot of unanswered questions that I sometimes wonder the answer to, but one thing is for sure: GOD LOVES ME.

College Dating #5: You Are Not Alone

This is the final part of my 5 blog series about college dating. The theme of this blog is realizing that you are not alone.

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No, no this isn’t about Michael Jackson’s hit song “You Are Not Alone.” This is for people who are single OR in a relationship. You are probably asking yourself; how come you know so much about relationship advice but you are single?

Well I guess I can speak from not just the experiences that I’ve had but the relationships I’ve seen in my lifetime whether it be between strangers or close friends of mine who I know found someone special.

Personally, I have been living the single life for about five years now. I’d say the main reason that I’m still single is because I haven’t found anyone that I feel compatible with. That being said, I think it is important for me to find someone who I can relate to because in the end looks will fade but the love of a good woman will not (if you treat her right).

So as a final blog of encouragement I want to reach out to everyone single or not. For the people who like me are still single and sometimes find yourself yearning for the love of a good woman (or man), buck up. All of this time that we have to ourselves is meant for us to work on the most important person that we can be in a relationship with; YOU!

Yes, “you” or yourself if you want to put it that way. I might have mentioned it in another blog about how a relationship shouldn’t be a scapegoat in order to make an escape from loneliness. Not to mention if you are not ok with yourself, how are you going to be able to show affection for someone else if you don’t feel comfortable in your own skin?

Don’t worry the right person will come around when you least expect it. I know I know I sound like a one of those people who give the same advice and repeat it numerous times like a broken record. The thing that makes me mad the most is that the people who tell me “the right person will come along, don’t worry, be patient, enjoy being single while you can!” are all in relationships!

That is like someone who is a millionaire (because they won the lottery) saying; “Don’t worry sometimes I miss the days when I only had $20 in my wallet…” What the heck is that supposed to mean?! It is like people who use hash tags on Facebook or a face without a nose, it makes no sense at all!

Ok, I’m going to list off some of the things that people in relationships tell me that I should be thankful for when comparing my single life to theirs since they are in relationships.

  1. “You should be happy because you have all of this free time on your hands! Me? I have to take my girl out to dinner, walk her to/from her classes and spend time with her when I wanna hang out with my friends…” And so on…
  2. “Are you upset because you are single?! At least you have money in your wallet to spend on yourself!!”
  3. “At least you don’t have someone breathing down your neck asking you 101 questions all the time!”
  • Where you going?
  • When are you getting back to your dorm?
  • Who are you talking to?
  • Who is that girl?!
  • Why didn’t you text me last night?
  • When can we go out again, I want to see you!  (Even though we just saw each other 30 minutes ago…)
  • Can you come over to my dorm window tonight so we can talk?
  • Do you think I’m fat?
  • When are we getting engaged?
  • How come you don’t buy me anything?!!
  • Can we hang out tonight? (Despite the fact that I have a truckload of homework to get done)

Here are my responses to the things that my friends in relationships tell me;

  1. Just because I have free time on my hands doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t enjoy the company of someone special.
  2. I’m a COLLEGE STUDENT! Any money that I do manage to get my hands on is usually spent on things for college like food, supplies for some random class project, books, fees for a club or something so I might have a little stashed away for a rainy day.
  3. Sometimes it is good to know that someone cares enough about you to ask how you are doing, what your plans are, etc. To a certain extent there is a thin line between caring and neediness and some girls like to dance too close on the boarder of both.

For the people in relationships right now, the only encouragement that you really need to hear is that everyone goes through the ups and downs of romance with their significant other from time to time. What man hasn’t wanted to strangle himself because it seems that every winking moment he has is spent with his girlfriend?

I think for the past 2 ½ years, I’ve had roommates who had girlfriends and they’d go out and I wouldn’t see them until it was curfew. That was usually because they would be with their girlfriends most of the time. I can’t remember one day when they didn’t sigh because of something that happened when they were out. Despite complaining and being angry when a text from their girlfriend woke them up in the middle of the night, I could tell for the most part that they were happy.

So, if you are going through some tough times with your guy or girl, no worries! Those bad times are what make the good times worth it. Overall, that is just about the best kind of advice I can offer to anyone who is in love or longing to be in love with someone.

I hope that my blogs have been an asset that can be applied to your life as you make it through college whether you end up in a relationship or not. Just know that not everyone finds their true love on campus. As I mentioned before, someone once told me that college is supposed to be the best time of your life, but I’ve always wondered about that statement…

If college is supposed to be the best time/years of my life, then what does say about marriage?????

I think the most positive way of looking at it is this; when it comes to marriage it will be the best time/years of “our” lives just something to think about if you are looking up at the moon and the stars and wondering if your future spouse is doing the same.

College Dating #2; Ladies Be Reasonable

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This is one subject that can get a bit touchy but it is something that I could not avoid talking about.

Don’t get me wrong, in a relationship I believe it is proper for the man to take out his girlfriend for a nice dinner or buy her something nice. However, it should not be something that is expected to be done numerous times. Why? Both individuals are in college and the last time I checked it isn’t the most inexpensive place to be in today’s world.

With rising tuition each semester, student loans, buying books, housing fees, buying gas (if the student has a car) and all the other things that take money out of a student’s wallet it is hard to keep a woman happy while in college. If women would be a bit more understanding then a lot of relationships would go a lot smoother.

I know times are tough after a long week of classes involving quizzes, exams, projects and of course the stress that comes along with that. Not to mention if one or both of the people in a relationship have jobs on top of that it just adds on to the daily demands already put into place from being a college student. Sometimes you just want to get away from it all with your man especially if the two of you haven’t been spending a lot of quality time together due to demanding schedules.

College relationships seem to be a “test” as to how two individuals would handle marriage when you really think about it. I’ve never been married but just from observation and talking with people I know who are in relationships some of the same factors are evident.

Here are a few of the similarities:

  • Bringing the stress from work or school into the relationship by taking those aggressive feelings out on each other often resulting in arguments due to misplaced anger
  • The relationship can sometimes get a bit stale with the same old routine over and over again. Don’t be afraid to spice up the relationship with something new. Instead of a movie go out dancing or just do something that you’ve never done before
  • Money can be an issue but only if you let it. Despite not being married, keeping a budget (and this goes for the men) is important because the school cafeteria and coupon dinners won’t keep a woman satisfied if this happens EVERY date night
  • The guy or girl may feel neglected if work and school seems to come in between them with dates having to be rescheduled due to demanding work schedules or exams/projects to work on

I know the last one listed above is true for guys who have girlfriends in the nursing program or ladies with a boyfriend studying law, those majors have a demanding schedule and it is not uncommon for person to feel a bit neglected. However, making time for one another is a topic I’ll cover in Part 3 of my “College Dating” blogs.

Ladies, sometimes it is best to keep things simple when it comes to date night with your man. As I mentioned above, there are many things that can cause stress and exhaustion while in college. Some nights it would do some good just to spend time with your man. Go out to a place off campus to get away from all of the distractions, look at the stars and just talk. Remember that old saying “Simplicity is best” and when it comes to love that really does apply. Those moments when the two of you can get away from everything so you can be together means more than anything he can buy you (ladies could argue that a wedding ring would mean more but that’s just based on opinion).

Overall, just remember that you are not the only one with a demanding schedule in college. If your boyfriend truly cares about you he will bend over backwards trying to make you happy. Also consider his feelings too, maybe he had rough day at work or a tiresome week of classes and he needs some attention. Just like text messages, phone calls or social media messages/conversations; it works BOTH ways. He doesn’t always have to be the first one to contact you. As a man, I can say that those little “I love you” or “Good morning” messages mean just as much to us as it does for females because it shows that you care. With that in mind, ladies PLEASE try to be a bit more reasonable when it comes to the dating expectations of your man especially while you are still in college.