This is the final part of my 5 blog series about college dating. The theme of this blog is realizing that you are not alone.
No, no this isn’t about Michael Jackson’s hit song “You Are Not Alone.” This is for people who are single OR in a relationship. You are probably asking yourself; how come you know so much about relationship advice but you are single?
Well I guess I can speak from not just the experiences that I’ve had but the relationships I’ve seen in my lifetime whether it be between strangers or close friends of mine who I know found someone special.
Personally, I have been living the single life for about five years now. I’d say the main reason that I’m still single is because I haven’t found anyone that I feel compatible with. That being said, I think it is important for me to find someone who I can relate to because in the end looks will fade but the love of a good woman will not (if you treat her right).
So as a final blog of encouragement I want to reach out to everyone single or not. For the people who like me are still single and sometimes find yourself yearning for the love of a good woman (or man), buck up. All of this time that we have to ourselves is meant for us to work on the most important person that we can be in a relationship with; YOU!
Yes, “you” or yourself if you want to put it that way. I might have mentioned it in another blog about how a relationship shouldn’t be a scapegoat in order to make an escape from loneliness. Not to mention if you are not ok with yourself, how are you going to be able to show affection for someone else if you don’t feel comfortable in your own skin?
Don’t worry the right person will come around when you least expect it. I know I know I sound like a one of those people who give the same advice and repeat it numerous times like a broken record. The thing that makes me mad the most is that the people who tell me “the right person will come along, don’t worry, be patient, enjoy being single while you can!” are all in relationships!
That is like someone who is a millionaire (because they won the lottery) saying; “Don’t worry sometimes I miss the days when I only had $20 in my wallet…” What the heck is that supposed to mean?! It is like people who use hash tags on Facebook or a face without a nose, it makes no sense at all!
Ok, I’m going to list off some of the things that people in relationships tell me that I should be thankful for when comparing my single life to theirs since they are in relationships.
- “You should be happy because you have all of this free time on your hands! Me? I have to take my girl out to dinner, walk her to/from her classes and spend time with her when I wanna hang out with my friends…” And so on…
- “Are you upset because you are single?! At least you have money in your wallet to spend on yourself!!”
- “At least you don’t have someone breathing down your neck asking you 101 questions all the time!”
- Where you going?
- When are you getting back to your dorm?
- Who are you talking to?
- Who is that girl?!
- Why didn’t you text me last night?
- When can we go out again, I want to see you! (Even though we just saw each other 30 minutes ago…)
- Can you come over to my dorm window tonight so we can talk?
- Do you think I’m fat?
- When are we getting engaged?
- How come you don’t buy me anything?!!
- Can we hang out tonight? (Despite the fact that I have a truckload of homework to get done)
Here are my responses to the things that my friends in relationships tell me;
- Just because I have free time on my hands doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t enjoy the company of someone special.
- I’m a COLLEGE STUDENT! Any money that I do manage to get my hands on is usually spent on things for college like food, supplies for some random class project, books, fees for a club or something so I might have a little stashed away for a rainy day.
- Sometimes it is good to know that someone cares enough about you to ask how you are doing, what your plans are, etc. To a certain extent there is a thin line between caring and neediness and some girls like to dance too close on the boarder of both.
For the people in relationships right now, the only encouragement that you really need to hear is that everyone goes through the ups and downs of romance with their significant other from time to time. What man hasn’t wanted to strangle himself because it seems that every winking moment he has is spent with his girlfriend?
I think for the past 2 ½ years, I’ve had roommates who had girlfriends and they’d go out and I wouldn’t see them until it was curfew. That was usually because they would be with their girlfriends most of the time. I can’t remember one day when they didn’t sigh because of something that happened when they were out. Despite complaining and being angry when a text from their girlfriend woke them up in the middle of the night, I could tell for the most part that they were happy.
So, if you are going through some tough times with your guy or girl, no worries! Those bad times are what make the good times worth it. Overall, that is just about the best kind of advice I can offer to anyone who is in love or longing to be in love with someone.
I hope that my blogs have been an asset that can be applied to your life as you make it through college whether you end up in a relationship or not. Just know that not everyone finds their true love on campus. As I mentioned before, someone once told me that college is supposed to be the best time of your life, but I’ve always wondered about that statement…
If college is supposed to be the best time/years of my life, then what does say about marriage?????
I think the most positive way of looking at it is this; when it comes to marriage it will be the best time/years of “our” lives just something to think about if you are looking up at the moon and the stars and wondering if your future spouse is doing the same.